Fri 16th June
Arrived knackered but safely and Yvie’s sister picked us up and took us to hers for breakfast. Scrummy, real cup of tea, real bacon, real garden, and normal house just like your Mam’s.
After a few hours of homely hospitality we went to bus station for next bit of journey on my first bus in 4 years to Norwich. 4 more hours of sitting in squished space but the wheels on the bus go round and round, sleeeeeep, round and round, sleeeeeeep, pleeeez but my sleep angel was obviously too excited at being home for a long time and no chance of any.
My first reality check in four years was the introduction to our bus driver. He was routinely going nuts and throwing a complete wobbly because trolleys were in the way of him parking the bus. He was so mad I thought he was going to physically start assaulting people. Scary and sad but true. And little old me thinking what the hell was I doing back here…this lunatic was driving my bus for next 4 hours….
Oh well at least I could look out the window and see all the things I’d forgotten.
Things I’d forgotten about the UK on first day back....
Fresh air.
White people. Actually, nearly blue. Or burnt red on top of nearly blue.
Litter. Everywhere.
Bobbies in bullet proof vests. Scary. Especially when they all looked like 12 years old.
Boys with no shirts on coz its sunny. And burnt red skin.
Girls with barely any clothes on coz its sunny. And burnt red skin.
Old people. Lots of them. Women with blue hair and shopping trollies on wheels and men with no teeth and rain macs in the sun.
England flags – absolutely everywhere it was possible to stick one it was stuck. Whoever marketed these for the world cup is very, very rich. Houses were covered in flags. Cars were covered in flags. Every second person on the street was wearing an England t-shirt. It was truly England mania. Very scary.
Overtaking on a two way road. Everytime the bus overtook a lorry I truly thought they would touch. I now remember how important an extra 2 inches is. Good for the bum cheeks tho.
Celebrity scarecrows. Charlie Chaplin. (actually I don’t remember this, this is def new).
Weeds. Nettles. Wild gooseberry bushes.
Rose bushes. Daisies.
Flowers, flowers and more flowers. And not in rows they were wild and wonderful.
Wasps.
Trees. Climbing Ivy.
Real chip shop chips.
Posties.
Washing lines made of rope and wooden 2x2s to hold them off the ground.
Clouds. Proper clouds. Cotton wool balls.
Caravans. Camper vans.
Horses.
Hedges.
Wild poppy fields.
Wild Xmas trees.
Single track roads.
Thatched roofs.
Pigeons/blackbirds cooing. Noisy little blighters.
Daylight until 11pm.
And that was all just from staring out of the window of the bus zombified by this time. Well apart from the fresh air, not, I was definitely too close to the back. In desperation I had to go to the smelly loo once. I’m too little to reach the height of the loo squatting. But if I was bigger I would not have fitted inside the space. Its very hard to balance and pull up with one hand whilst moving. Future alternative bus traveling peeing plans must be made.
Enough information.
After a few hours of homely hospitality we went to bus station for next bit of journey on my first bus in 4 years to Norwich. 4 more hours of sitting in squished space but the wheels on the bus go round and round, sleeeeeep, round and round, sleeeeeeep, pleeeez but my sleep angel was obviously too excited at being home for a long time and no chance of any.
My first reality check in four years was the introduction to our bus driver. He was routinely going nuts and throwing a complete wobbly because trolleys were in the way of him parking the bus. He was so mad I thought he was going to physically start assaulting people. Scary and sad but true. And little old me thinking what the hell was I doing back here…this lunatic was driving my bus for next 4 hours….
Oh well at least I could look out the window and see all the things I’d forgotten.
Things I’d forgotten about the UK on first day back....
Fresh air.
White people. Actually, nearly blue. Or burnt red on top of nearly blue.
Litter. Everywhere.
Bobbies in bullet proof vests. Scary. Especially when they all looked like 12 years old.
Boys with no shirts on coz its sunny. And burnt red skin.
Girls with barely any clothes on coz its sunny. And burnt red skin.
Old people. Lots of them. Women with blue hair and shopping trollies on wheels and men with no teeth and rain macs in the sun.
England flags – absolutely everywhere it was possible to stick one it was stuck. Whoever marketed these for the world cup is very, very rich. Houses were covered in flags. Cars were covered in flags. Every second person on the street was wearing an England t-shirt. It was truly England mania. Very scary.
Overtaking on a two way road. Everytime the bus overtook a lorry I truly thought they would touch. I now remember how important an extra 2 inches is. Good for the bum cheeks tho.
Celebrity scarecrows. Charlie Chaplin. (actually I don’t remember this, this is def new).
Weeds. Nettles. Wild gooseberry bushes.
Rose bushes. Daisies.
Flowers, flowers and more flowers. And not in rows they were wild and wonderful.
Wasps.
Trees. Climbing Ivy.
Real chip shop chips.
Posties.
Washing lines made of rope and wooden 2x2s to hold them off the ground.
Clouds. Proper clouds. Cotton wool balls.
Caravans. Camper vans.
Horses.
Hedges.
Wild poppy fields.
Wild Xmas trees.
Single track roads.
Thatched roofs.
Pigeons/blackbirds cooing. Noisy little blighters.
Daylight until 11pm.
And that was all just from staring out of the window of the bus zombified by this time. Well apart from the fresh air, not, I was definitely too close to the back. In desperation I had to go to the smelly loo once. I’m too little to reach the height of the loo squatting. But if I was bigger I would not have fitted inside the space. Its very hard to balance and pull up with one hand whilst moving. Future alternative bus traveling peeing plans must be made.
Enough information.
posted by Nikki @ 6:39 AM
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