Sat 1st July - 1st Life Laundry Day
630am. So the question every morning is, do I let Tess sleep in with me and wake me by jumping on my head or wagging her tail against the bed or do I shut her out and let her wake me by scratching and whining at the door to get in.
For the following week I never did find a satisfactory answer to the above question.
The question every night is, do I kick her out of my bed or share it with her. She snores and farts and takes up more space than I do but if I kick her out she just scratches the door to get back in. She is cosy but dog farts are the worst. At least she doesn’t play ovens.
Then there are the Seagulls. Its not just the hungry squawking as soon as the sun comes up that gets you. They are a real problem. Firstly they are the size of small lightweight airplane. Secondly they are nesting just now so people are being attacked if they go near the nests and small dogs are in danger of being eaten if they go near them. That’s a big problem if you have the three bestest 8 inch guard dogs in your garden. Its also a problem if you are a 5” adult trying to eat breakfast on the patio. They are hungry and want to feed their babies. I wasn’t going to argue with them that’s for sure. I never thought I would be scared of a Seagull! Catapults may come back into fashion soon. I’m really glad guns are still illegal in the UK but these are exceptional circumstances.
In my wisdom I decided to empty my mam’s garage today. Well I’m not quite sure who decided it, but my banking paperwork was at the back so thought I might as well do a clear out. She has had that house since I was 12 and the car has never been in it. In fact I don't think we have ever seen the floor since the day we moved in.
My whole past life is either in the garage, in the trunk at the back of the garage or in the attic. It was time to have a life laundry! Don’t think my Mam planned on having one but she had no choice in the matter.
8 hours later you could see the garage floor, I’d found paperwork I needed for the bank (that’s a whole other chapter..), and the drive was full of stuff for the charity shop or the skip.
And my Mam? Well I didn't chuck her out but she was totally truly traumatized and kept hiding in the greenhouse.
Aching and filthy, time for a shower. Finally, a Saturday night oot in Inverness. Went round to Carolines for cocktails first. Sex on the Beach, just in case I was missing it. Karen was there too. And Carrie and her wee mate were there too but they are not allowed cocktails yet. God if we dressed them up right they could have come round the bars with us! Very scary indeed.
They were too more-ish and we were a bit tipsy before we even went out. .We started off in bars that I used to go to but aren’t called the same now. The first was The Room. I thought it was wicked. Great live band. Girls thought it was too loud so we moved on. Next the Foundry. Sure it was the same people in there last time I was home. It was like a time warp. Then the crème de la crème, the Gellions. If you imagine Waxy’s in about 30 years time you get the picture. We had a coke a cola shot, which no-one, not even the bar tender could tell me what it was. I decided it was petrol. But hey it did the job and we bounced to the next bar, our favourite, Johnny Foxes. Again another good band and surprise surprise our wee pal Coggs was there.
We couldn’t stay long as there is a midnight curfew in the town centre (really!) so if you are not inside a bar or club by midnight you don’t get in. Well I guess they had to do something. Last time I lived at home when you came out of the pubs there were more police about than people. The pubs used to shut at 1230 but they are open til 2 or 3 now. Woo hoo! Lucky me. So at 1130 we skipped over the bridge to my old haunt Barzar. There was a long queue but hey it was only 1130. It moved slowly and we were finally two from the front and 2 mins to 12. I’m too old to chat up the bouncers now. There was a day when no matter how many people were in the queue we had “go straight to the front pass”. Not these days. They closed the doors and we were left screaming and crying in the street. Midnight in Inverness and nowhere to go except across the street to the Glenn which truly is a scary place. We hooked up with a couple of boys we used to know but even safety in numbers didn’t help. I had one dram and wanted to go home. Yep, me, myself, I, actually wanted to go home rather than stay there. Cheesy toast was definitely more appealing than the toothless, beer swilling, pot bellied, black eyed hunies sitting at the bar giving us the once over.
So taxi home and girls dropped me off. Outside mam’s now at 1am. Shit. No key. If I knock on the door the three bestest and scariest 8 inch high guard dogs and Tess will wake up the whole neighbourhood.
But I couldn’t fit in the dog flap so had no choice. I did try.
Well the dogs woke up the whole street but it took a few doorbell rings, knocks with bare knuckles and several phone rings to wake my mother. Few mumbled very very sorries and off to kitchen to satisfy the munchie monster. Stayed up and watched some concert on telly. Dunno what it was but it was brill.
Strange I felt quite sover and not too bad actually.
For the following week I never did find a satisfactory answer to the above question.
The question every night is, do I kick her out of my bed or share it with her. She snores and farts and takes up more space than I do but if I kick her out she just scratches the door to get back in. She is cosy but dog farts are the worst. At least she doesn’t play ovens.
Then there are the Seagulls. Its not just the hungry squawking as soon as the sun comes up that gets you. They are a real problem. Firstly they are the size of small lightweight airplane. Secondly they are nesting just now so people are being attacked if they go near the nests and small dogs are in danger of being eaten if they go near them. That’s a big problem if you have the three bestest 8 inch guard dogs in your garden. Its also a problem if you are a 5” adult trying to eat breakfast on the patio. They are hungry and want to feed their babies. I wasn’t going to argue with them that’s for sure. I never thought I would be scared of a Seagull! Catapults may come back into fashion soon. I’m really glad guns are still illegal in the UK but these are exceptional circumstances.
In my wisdom I decided to empty my mam’s garage today. Well I’m not quite sure who decided it, but my banking paperwork was at the back so thought I might as well do a clear out. She has had that house since I was 12 and the car has never been in it. In fact I don't think we have ever seen the floor since the day we moved in.
My whole past life is either in the garage, in the trunk at the back of the garage or in the attic. It was time to have a life laundry! Don’t think my Mam planned on having one but she had no choice in the matter.
8 hours later you could see the garage floor, I’d found paperwork I needed for the bank (that’s a whole other chapter..), and the drive was full of stuff for the charity shop or the skip.
And my Mam? Well I didn't chuck her out but she was totally truly traumatized and kept hiding in the greenhouse.
Aching and filthy, time for a shower. Finally, a Saturday night oot in Inverness. Went round to Carolines for cocktails first. Sex on the Beach, just in case I was missing it. Karen was there too. And Carrie and her wee mate were there too but they are not allowed cocktails yet. God if we dressed them up right they could have come round the bars with us! Very scary indeed.
They were too more-ish and we were a bit tipsy before we even went out. .We started off in bars that I used to go to but aren’t called the same now. The first was The Room. I thought it was wicked. Great live band. Girls thought it was too loud so we moved on. Next the Foundry. Sure it was the same people in there last time I was home. It was like a time warp. Then the crème de la crème, the Gellions. If you imagine Waxy’s in about 30 years time you get the picture. We had a coke a cola shot, which no-one, not even the bar tender could tell me what it was. I decided it was petrol. But hey it did the job and we bounced to the next bar, our favourite, Johnny Foxes. Again another good band and surprise surprise our wee pal Coggs was there.
We couldn’t stay long as there is a midnight curfew in the town centre (really!) so if you are not inside a bar or club by midnight you don’t get in. Well I guess they had to do something. Last time I lived at home when you came out of the pubs there were more police about than people. The pubs used to shut at 1230 but they are open til 2 or 3 now. Woo hoo! Lucky me. So at 1130 we skipped over the bridge to my old haunt Barzar. There was a long queue but hey it was only 1130. It moved slowly and we were finally two from the front and 2 mins to 12. I’m too old to chat up the bouncers now. There was a day when no matter how many people were in the queue we had “go straight to the front pass”. Not these days. They closed the doors and we were left screaming and crying in the street. Midnight in Inverness and nowhere to go except across the street to the Glenn which truly is a scary place. We hooked up with a couple of boys we used to know but even safety in numbers didn’t help. I had one dram and wanted to go home. Yep, me, myself, I, actually wanted to go home rather than stay there. Cheesy toast was definitely more appealing than the toothless, beer swilling, pot bellied, black eyed hunies sitting at the bar giving us the once over.
So taxi home and girls dropped me off. Outside mam’s now at 1am. Shit. No key. If I knock on the door the three bestest and scariest 8 inch high guard dogs and Tess will wake up the whole neighbourhood.
But I couldn’t fit in the dog flap so had no choice. I did try.
Well the dogs woke up the whole street but it took a few doorbell rings, knocks with bare knuckles and several phone rings to wake my mother. Few mumbled very very sorries and off to kitchen to satisfy the munchie monster. Stayed up and watched some concert on telly. Dunno what it was but it was brill.
Strange I felt quite sover and not too bad actually.
posted by Nikki @ 11:16 AM
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