First Impressions

My first underground took me to Oxford Circle. It was quite scary actually. How fucking fast do they go! Seriously. And that’s just the people! Very stressful. Anyway we navigated our way to the shops and could not spend a penny of the money burning a hole in my pocket. Nothing different to buy.

Then off to our show at night, Evita. It was Ok but she was a bit screechy for me. She sounded much better with one finger in your ear. When we came out it was late and we had to find our way back by tube and train to Staines so didn’t chance stopping anywhere for a dram.

We would have been quicker getting home if SQ had proper shoes on…..

Hoping on and off the tube at midnight surrounded by pissed teenagers after an England game we were, to say the least, crapping our pants! I was scared to speak out loud in case they heard my Scottish accent. However, my fears were completely unjustified and we started speaking to a lovely young couple for ages. I didn’t understand a bloody word they said but they were smiling and talking and that was the important thing. We now had friends in London. We were sorted man.

We hopped off the tube and found the train station and hopped on the train to Staines. Hey we were getting the hang of this hopping on and off shit. Ended up in first class and told we were allowed by a smiling man with a Marks & Spencer can of gin and tonic! How cool is that. We must get some of them. Then three more pissed (or whatever mind altering substance was there vice of choice) teenagers got on and they were really scary! But our posh bloke was unruffled so we put out our happy vibes. They were only on a few stops. Phew!

Got in and ate home made chicken corn soup. Yummy. Then SQ, the witch, told me that the room I was in was haunted by a red eyed ghost. She is the meanest Aunt anyone can have. Mental note - I must warn my wee sisters about her. Anyway, the ghost didn’t get me as I was unconscious within 3 seconds of my head hitting the pillow. He would have had to use a real sledge hammer to wake me and not a ghosty one.

New things I learned today about the UK...

I do not understand English accents.
There are no rubbish bins anywhere in case of bombs. Which means if you don’t have a tissue you either have to swallow your old chewing gum or stick it to something on passing.