Wed 19th July - surprise...

I had my big presentation today for BNI. Got up at silly o’clock and was there by 630am armed with my laptop and sales folders for all. MMmm where was the IT guy for BNI. More importantly, where was the projector. Strangely I didn’t self combust, I just thought oh well fuck it, they will all just have to sit closer to my laptop to look at the pretty picture. It was supposed to start at 7am and IT guru arrived at 715am. Phew! Very strangely I was not nervous at all and sailed through it. Now all who know me know that I am a kinda Bridgette Jones kinda gal. If something is going to happen it will happen to me and that’s fine, I expect it to, after all, this is me and this is Dubai. How I handle it is usually the trick and that depends on what time of the month it is. And even after it was over without a burp, fart, hic-up, spit, stutter or even a frozen face I was still very suspicious that it had all gone so well. The top button of my blouse was not open (been there done that and don’t wear blouses at presentations anymore) and I didn’t even once have to think about them all sitting there naked.

Sooooo…..

I had been to the ladies when I arrived. I even went after the presentation. Then I went again after morning tea when I got back to the office. Why am I divulging my toilet habits to you? Had one of my thighs shrunk over night? Shit, had the elastic gone in the wash? Inside out knickers? Nope…

After 5 hours of putting them on when I went again at lunchtime I realized that the crutch of my knickers was at my right hip and the string was on my left hip. Uncomfortable you may ask. Yes of course it was once I had noticed it. Lopsided, yes of course, by about 3 inches. Obvious, yes of course now I was awake at lunchtime and noticed. Visible through my new skirt slash trouser things (what the hell are they called?). Who knows. But that may explain all the attention I got after the presentation…..

Oh well, at least I had some on today.

Got to the office on a high and was squished one hour later. THIRD person I offered sales job to and she picked another job she was offered. Jeeso, there must be a very special person out there winging their way to me now to make me wait this long and go thru three people before I find them! Sigh. Just when I thought I was going to get my life back.

I miss my work sanity.