Last chance...!

OK, this is your LAST CHANCE to “meet a new friend”!

Tonight is the night to SHOW US THE MONEY!

NO more bids after 11pm.

Cally, Paul and I will be in Left Bank from 7-11pm to collect all bids.

Or please call us.

Nikki – 050-4561429
Cally – 050-5529726
Paul – 050-4585438

So which one of our gorgeous guys and gals have you chosen to meet??

http://nixcharityauction.blogspot.com

And who will be the highest bidders and lucky winners of the fantastic vouchers we are giving away?

I hope to see lots of generous people later…..!

Winners will be announced tomorrow.

Nikki
X x X
http://nixindubai.blogspot.com

F*ck*d Fone!

Well the time has finally come as I knew it would one day.

My good old faithful Nokia has finally been laid to rest.

Bought 3 years ago because of the free MMS services I thought I was missing out on and haven't used once yet, I promptly cracked the screen two days later.

Yep, she has survived more than most.....

The swimming pool, the washing machine, been sat on, stood on, cracked, dropped, thrown, lost and found again and cost me obscene amounts of money after 3am on Thursday and Friday mornings. Cursed at, shouted at, moaned in, cried in, spilt on, dribbled on and most importantly laughed in.

Gone but not forgotten and I truly will miss the cracked screen but I now have a newer, funkier, sexier, smaller version. Bit like me maturing with age really.

And as if I didn't spend enough on a new phone, I also bought a sexy new Canon camera so I can put more pics on my blog.

And there's more, there's more......

I finally bought the hoodgie-me-wostit that goes in my car so that I can listen to my MP3 player. Now I can also listen to audio books on the way home when I am stuck in the traffic at night. Wicked.

And its ok Dave, I promise I won't listen to my meditation stuff in the car....

But I will be that calm, confident and perfect person soon.

So watch out, Nikki's about, with a wee evidence catching machine.....

Nikki
x

P.S. If you haven't sent me your number yet I won't be calling you anytime soon.

Jelly bellies and traffic lights.

Saturday 19th

Caught up on boring house stuff and did my weekly report for work during the day. Missing the beach, hope it cools down soon or will have to result in bottled stuff soon.

SQ came round for coffee and then I went to see The Breakup at movies with Becki at night. It was ok but again my advice is buy it in Karama. We did have a delicious Italian meal in Mercato upstairs. Scrummy. Diet starts tomorrow. Less than 2 weeks til my 1st September deadline. Ok ok realistically we all know I am not going to make it now.

Next goal is holiday in Eid in October. We are going to Goa so need to get back into that bikini with confidence.

So 8 week countdown starts tomorrow.

Goal: lose 10 kilos.
How: yoga twice a week, abs once a week, no bread, carbs only at weekend and lots of fish and veg.
Achievable: absofuckinglutely

Last day for collection of the Online Auction bids tomorrow. So we will be in Left Bank from 7pm til 10pm collecting money – hopefully!

I haven’t decided who to bid on yet, too many nice boys to choose from!

All will be revealed on Monday.

By the way, what is with the new traffic lights on the Beach Road. Tonight is the first time I have driven down there since it’s “nearly” finished.

So what? They couldn’t afford the green lights at the pedestrian crossings or what? So its only flashing amber then red for stop. Ok. But where do you stop? If you go all the way up to the white line you can’t actually see the lights. If you stay back far enough to see the lights you are miles away from the line. It’s mental.

And please don’t tell me that we have had to wait all this time just to put cobbles in the road at the new crossings with speed humps and a wee metal fence down the middle. Can someone tell me what else has changed? Coz I’m damned if I can see the difference.

Ok there is that other new lane, but seriously what's that achieved except longer bottle necks and pissing off the residents coz the cars can practically park in their gardens now?

Bring back plain old tarmac, red, amber and green lights and beeping pelican crossings. Don’t fix what ain't broken.

I am very surprised I haven’t seen any letters in 7 days about this yet, but then I’ve been so busy I’m not reading it every day, maybe I’ve missed all the action.

Oh well, plenty action next week when the auction winners are announced!

Good luck with your bids!

Hope everyone wins.

Nikki
x

Blue teeth vs bum pinching. Decisions, decisions....

Thursday 17th

Work was manic but made it through the day and went out with the Vampire and Becki at night.

We went to Double Deckers first. I haven’t been there for ages. Not quite as minging as last time we were there and a lot of holiday makers about so it was cool actually. Then we went to Trilogy for a change.

The music was wicked. Strange crowd tho' we didn’t know anyone at all. We spoke to a young boy who was so pissed he knocked me over and then tried to chat us up. Good looking but the blue tongue and teeth kinda spoiled the moment for me.

I told him he should go home and pointed out his blueness and the Vampire then spent the next 10 minutes consoling him as apparently he was crushed by my bluntness. Bless.

I didn’t feel too bad as I know for a fact he would not remember me or the conversation the next day.

So we had a boogie and then were torn between the Apartment and RBs. Only an hour left so RBs won as it’s on way home.

Well they may have sent the Police out to look for us if we didn’t go and we didn’t want to cause a fuss. Plus profits would have dropped considerably so we knew it would be rude not to.

It was truly minging. Too busy to move. Too pissed to handle it. Too disappointed to care. We had one and left. The bum pinchings on the dance floor were definitely a justifiable punch on the nose kind. But we left without hurting anyone instead. Seriously, this bum pinching thing is getting to be a real problem. And its not just me, the Vamp got a taste too. I am going to learn that self defence move where you grab someone’s thumb, bend it backwards and they end up begging for mercy on their knees. That might work.

Friday 18th

Stayed in and chilled all day. Hangover wasn’t as bad as Wednesday so that was a result. Needed to chill, it was fab. Telly was shit but lazed around and wrote my blog and didn’t go out the door all day.

Bliss.

But wish they would release the next series of 24 for days like this. I get house fever easily.

Ladies Nights...

Tuesday 15th

Now that my BNI group has changed to Monday mornings instead of Wednesdays, some of my fellow members were supposed to go out tonight to celebrate our first long lie on Wednesday since we all joined BNI. But they all wimped so I went out with the Vampire instead.

Now I remember why I don’t go out on Tuesday’s anymore. Wednesday mornings.

Free vodka is fantastic, in the right quantities on a school night. My brain does not recognise normal people measures. Four free in Boston swiftly followed by unlimited in RBs (if you keep hold of your fancy glass) is too much to resist for a hard core girl with a reputation to keep. Personally I preferred the mugs to glasses but hey, would have been the same liquidised brain cell effect anyway and the tall glasses did save at least two trips back to get more.

I was like a wee girl with 100 pounds to spend in a penny sweet shop. They went down without even touching the sides. When will I ever learn.

The sambuka shots didn’t really help. Thanks Josh.

After a few feels of the bum on the dance floor we managed to leave before the lights came on and my lights stayed off until at least 4pm the next day.

Wednesday 16th

Oh my God. It hurt. Badly.

I really need a boyfriend. He will have five good uses.

1/ He will make sure I don’t drink too much and take me home early for lots of sex and so no hangover.
2/ If I do drink too much he will burl me round the dance floor for a few hours until I get sober and then take me home for sex and so no hangover.
3/ If he fails in the above two duties he must feed and water me and generally mollycoddle me all the next day until I feel better enough for sex.
4/ He will come round during the week for lots of sex which will result in me losing lots of weight without going to the gym.
5/ He will carry heavy things. Then he will get lots of sex as a reward.

BNI Jet lag...again...

Monday 14th

I got up at very silly o’clock today – 5am! Had BNI open day and members had to be there by 630am to help greet visitors.

I was on the signing in desk and although my eyes were open there wasn’t really anyone home until about 9am when I had to speak in front of 71 people. That’s always a good way to make sure you wake up. I truly nearly peed my pants. It didn’t sound like my voice coming out through the mike and when they all laughed at my wee joke I had to turn round to check there wasn’t someone behind me pulling faces.

My heart was thumping so loud I really thought I was going to have a heart attack. How do people do it, this public speaking thing I mean. Its nuts. Respect to all who do. Seriously.

Anyway, I must have done something right coz they have asked me again to be on the committee. I am thinking about it. If it wasn’t my buddy Dave Crane asking it would have been a definite no fucking way and there would be nothing to think about. Oh well its all self development which is always high on my agenda. One day I will be confident enough to sing karaoke in RBs! How sad is that. My goals need to be higher. Ok one day I will be confident enough to…… I’ll get back to you on that one.

And Yvie you will be glad to know that my drawers were in the right legs this time so bonus.

Got freebie tickets to go see the movie Cars at the cinema in Ibn Battuta. Four of us went and although not as good as my all time favourite Ice Age, still giggled out loud a few times. Pop corn for dinner didn’t help the diet though. My advice, get it from Karama rather than a trip to the movies.

So work, yoga, movies. Good day for a Monday.

A bit of Irish always does the trick....

Saturday 12th

Went to dinner with Debs tonight to Irish Village. Haven’t been there for ages. Food still as great as ever. Had the carvery special and when the mountain of food came we didn’t think we would ever eat it all. Of course we did. Plus a few pints of cider to wash it down. This diet thing is just not happening.

There was football on, which I hate, but the cute boys made up for the noise coming from the TV screens.

Conversations with Debs are always interesting. And most are censored from my blog (I’ve promised in blood). But there was one question which I feel the need to share.

A male friend of hers asked her why after having all night sex with someone does a girl close the door when going to the loo. My answer to that is simple.

Bum burps and fanny farts.

There are many things I will do in front of a boy (with or without clothes on) but there is something about the above that worries us girls more than speaking in public naked.

Its that whole Mars and Venus thing. Boys think its funny and try and do it louder and longer than is natural just for laughs. Thankfully most girls don’t.

In my opinion some things are just meant to be done behind closed doors. But hey each to their own I say. Live and let live.

So if I ever leave the door open, it means we must be very very cosy indeed…!

FOUR DAYS LEFT TO BID!

FOUR DAYS LEFT to get your pledges in for our charity Online Friendship Auction and then SHOW US THE MONEY by Sunday 20th at 10pm.

Fantastic prizes below and the chance to meet all these gorgeous guys and gals so you just can’t lose.

1/ Dinner for two at Bussolo at Le Meridien Mina Seyahi
2/ Dinner for two at Cucina at JW Marriott Dubai
3/ Dinner for two at Cucina at Courtyard by Marriott Dubai Green Community
4/ Dinner for two at Sails Mediterranean restaurant in Renaissance Hotel
5/ Dinner for two at Left Bank. Madinat Souq
6/ Voucher for two for safari (either quad or 4x4 tbc)
7/ Vouchers for parasailing/jet skiing day out with Summertime Marine
8/ Vouchers for Seasons at Costa coffee
9/ Dinner to two at Danat dinner cruises
10/ 2 x complimentary visits for two to club/beach at Le Royal Meridien

Cally, Paul and I will be in Left Bank on Sunday evening from 7-10pm to collect all bids.

Or call us.
Nikki – 050-4561429
Cally – 050-5529726
Paul – 050-4585438

And there is one more handsome lad to choose from now so check out the site once again and GET BIDDING!!!

http://nixcharityauction.blogspot.com

Remember all bids are going to charity.

Go on….. I know you want to!!

Nikki
X x X

Online Friendship Auction..... GET BIDDING!

Our “Friendship Auction” was launched and sent to everyone and is now doing the e-mail rounds in Dubai.

Instructions available in powerpoint for anyone whose e-mail I don't have. Just ask.

Read the instructions attached carefully then log onto the below link:-

http://nixcharityauction.blogspot.com

I am very disappointed with the number of pledges in so far! Come on you lot, one more week today to get your pledges in and show me the money!

But we do have a few and the highest so far is 250 Dhs! Woo hoo! And not telling who bid for who, its a SECRET pledge.

And NO-ONE has bid on me yet so I expect a lot of last minute sympathy bids please! (please!)

We have some wicked vouchers to give away. I will send an e-mail round today.

I still haven’t decided which gorgeous man I will bid on yet, too spoilt for choice. Although one of them is in the lead for laughs when he did a side splitting Houdini act in Waxy’s on Friday and left his boxer shorts under one of the tables upstairs……don’t ask, you had to be there.

And no I’m not telling who it was!

Did anyone else read the article in Emirates today at the beginning of the week saying that a guy went to jail for 3 months for pinching a girl’s bum in an elevator! How funny, that means that I could get at least 3 people every Friday night in RBs put to jail now.

Actually it used to really wind me up, now there is no point in getting cross it just spoils my night. And that is not an invitation for everyone to start pinching my bum! There is still a real danger of getting a slap.

Well apart from the one I want to pinch my bum of course. Now He Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned can pinch me any day. But He wouldn’t because He is a gentleman.

Shame I thought he would be in my auction and I could place the highest bid on him and win the date (the benefits of organizing it) but alas he didn’t take the bait.

Oh well, maybe he will bid on me….. sigh.

Stalking is obviously not working this time, I need to change my game plan. Any ideas?

And I am looking for a new flat mate so if you know anyone, who knows someone, who has a friend, give them my number.

What did I learn this weekend.....

1/ I have so many good looking friends, my other friends can't decide who to bid on, that must be why the bids are coming in so slowly.
2/ You can do things with boxer shorts that you would never imagine. In public.
3/ I don't have to get cross with the next guy that nips my bum, I just call the local bobbies.
4/ I am too shy to ask a boy on a date. Today anyway. Maybe next week after some more therapy..... :O) Gawd help him, its been a while..... :O)

Unexpected adventures...

Tuesday 8th Aug

I went to Abu Dhabi today, nearly twice. I meant to go the first time. I haven’t been there for years and its still a long boring and a tiring journey.

I got my hair cut in the evening at Gill’s in the Arabian Ranches and I nearly ended up back in Abu Dhabi on the way there trying to find it.

Ah the powers of communication between girls on mobile phones when driving. Quality.

Then I nearly went to Hatta too. I haven’t been there for a while either. But I didn’t want to go to Hatta either, I was trying to get home from the Arabian Ranches…..

I can find my way round most places but there is definitely a mini Bermuda triangle in my head between the dreaded Al Khail Road, Emirates Road and all that big new roads and fly overs in between there and the Country Club. Its like the Madinat Souq, I never go the same way twice.

Oh well, I love adventures. And the radio was good which meant I practised my Tina Turner singing voice for Dave C's next karaoke session!

Wednesday 9th Aug

I went to the theatre on Wednesday to see Marc Salem, a mentalist (!), with Tilda, Paul, Rob and Ron. Very entertaining but unfortunately the cynic in me sussed most of the tricks.

I am not sure what I enjoyed most, the company and the actual show or seeing how many gullible people there are out there.

Seriously folks, magicians don’t do magic and mentalists can’t really read your mind. They can play with it, but if he could really read minds the world we live in today would be a different place…. Think about it.

Now hypnosis, hypnotherapy, dream therapy, yoga and meditating…. that I believe in. Been there done it, got the t-shirt and it really does work. For me anyway.

What did I learn....

1/ Girls, cars, directions, reversing, left and right, dark scary road and big trucks are words that don’t go together well in one sentence.
2/ People can be conned into believing anything you want them too, with a few years practise and x-ray vision.
3/ I miss yoga and meditation, it keeps me sane. Going back next week. Work is NOT my life.

Fantastic idea.....

Chilled all day and went to Cally’s for dinner at night out at her mum's at the Green Community. Wicked place. Rob, Kerry, Tony, Hend and Simon were there too. Cally made a veggie pie and Paul made Shepherds pie. Both scrummy. Then Cally also made Millionaires shortbread after reading my blog! It was to die for. And now I have the easiest recipe in the world so Yvie you will get to heaven again soon huney!

So next Saturday will be cards night with millionaires shortbread. Can't wait.

Saturday 5th

Got up at 930 am! Shock horror. And no hangover. Totally gutted my bedroom. Bought so many new clothes at home in sales had no space for everything.

Now have two black bags and a few carriers for charity shop. Someone else needs them more. It feels good having a good clear out. Out with the old and in with the new. Third life laundry in a month. I truly have nothing else to clear out now so there is plenty of space for new things/people to enter my life.

Bring them on.

Going to put together all the details for the On Line Friendship Auction now then go healthy food shopping. Back on the diet. Even threw out my Pringles crisps today. It nearly killed me but did it.

I gave myself one year after stopping smoking to lose the weight I put on. Well I’ve lost and put on and lost and put on again in the last year. But today I have only lost 4 kilos of the 14 I put on. But NO fags. I am so proud of myself.

So 10 kilos to lose before the 1st September?? Mmmm maybe not possible by diet alone. I need to exercise every day. I’d like to keep the boobs please, just loose the jelly belly and thunder thighs.

They say sex is the best exercise. Shame I can’t hire a nice man for the month. What a pleasure it would be to lose weight then.

Hey what a fantastic idea. A Gigolo that can cook. Hirable on a monthly contract. Interviewing would be interesting.

It’s that whole jail thing again in Dubai isn’t it. I guess I’d have to call him a “friend” too.

Okay, back to reality......

30th July – 3rd August

Work same old same old and busy as ever so late nights and no yoga. Life still rocks tho.

Went to Cally’s on Tuesday to finalise our “On Line Friendship Auction”. It was supposed to be a Date Auction for charity however unfortunately it’s been pointed out to me that I could actually go to prison for this.

It’s called pimping.

So as I am attached to my hair, pot belly and don’t like boiled rice, to avoid the risk of upsetting the UAE authorities by practicing anything illegal, I am sorry to say that the “Date Auction” is now cancelled.

BUT…………

It is NOT illegal to meet new friends in the UAE.

So I am pleased to announce that I am rebranding my product on the second day of launching it!

So hence the “On Line Friendship Auction”. The idea is that singletons, I mean friends, give me their photo and a few details which I send round and then people bid on them for the chance to go on a date, of course I mean meet their new friend. So the highest bidder gets to go on the date. Sorry, meeting a new friend now! I have had loads of response, 14 girls and 8 boys so far. Wicked. I am in it too so hoping Mr 60% gets the e-mail and bids for me!

It’s all to help build an addiction centre in Kenya so quite appropriate that I should be helping raise money. No way I am going to climb Mount Kilimanjaro like Cally and Paul are, but will help raise loadsa money for them.

We are doing a treasure trail/pub crawl next month which should be fun too.

All participants must send me their photo by tomorrow!

Thursday 3rd

It was Becki’s birthday at Trader Vics. It was rammed. Never knew it got so busy. Bit clique'ish but crack ok with our lot.

Then onto Tim’s Cheesy Night. We were a bit late but better late than never for a piece of cheese, as they say. Met up with Debi and her stookie arm which didn’t stop her strutting her stuff like Anastasia.

The last time Tim had a cheesy party after a year we were supposed to get cheesy Oscars for being ambassadors of cheese and write a speech. I don’t do speeches. I do poems….

An Ode to DJ Tim Cheddar

There once was a boy called DJ Tim Cheddar
Cute as can be and hair couldn’t be redder
His school disco’s are legend for parmesan pop
70’s & 80’s play for a rocking good bop
School uniforms and short skirts proved a good tease
For all of us followers of everything cheese

Finally after a year, another Cheese Flash
And true to the legend it’s another good bash
Whether your taste is cheddar, stilton or even Edam
You know you can some here sing, dance and jam
His roller skating tricks, we all come to see
And there is nowhere else we’d all rather brie

So for all you lovers of all things cheese
And I don’t mean old and stale if you please
If strutting to Abba or Prince is your vice
Then it’s nice to cheese you, to cheese you nice
For the Ultimate Cheese King whose hair could not be redder
Please raise your glasses to DJ Tim Cheddar....

Another one next month too so get ready.

We love our cheesy nights but why is it that every venue Tim gets has an AC problem?? Seriously. First it was the Rush Inn, then Malecon now Players lounge. I am sure we would have been cooler dancing outside. It was so hot and sweaty Tim’s glasses kept sliding off.

I am sure by the states of most they wouldn’t be the only things sliding off by the end of the night.

We didn’t do any sliding but we did have lots of fun and then one for the road in RBs. Crack good and bounced round the dance floor another few times.

Good night had by all and didn't loose anything. Result.

Things I’d forgotten about dogs…

Guarding the house is the top job. Howling like banshees to scare away anyone who dares to walk past the gate or God forbid knocks on the door is a full time 24 hour profession.
All thru the night wake up calls to be let out to pee/investigate noises/explore/just get you up.
Early morning dog breath, cold noses and wet kisses.
Sharing your bed with a small very warm dead weight.
Dog farts
Dog pooh
Pooper scoopers (ie inside out carrier bags)
Pooper scooper bins in parks
The havoc the mention of the word “walk” causes
How much fun an empty crisp packet is
When 2 box full of toys are available and the favourite one is the dirtiest, smelliest, oldest, most minging one.
White dog hair on black trousers
Black dog hair on white trousers
Big bang panic attacks
How much fun it is to steal dirty underwear (lost one bra strap and one sock, haven't counted knickers yet)
Suitcases are great new day time beds
Blue bottles and wasps are the best things in the world to chase

More stuff I’d forgotten about the UK…

Big Brother. I never have and never will understand the obsession with this. I just don’t get it and don’t want to.
How cold the water is straight from the tap in the morning.
How delicious the water tastes straight from the tap in the morning.
Everyone has fresh flowers in the house.
Trendy haircuts and styles. (humidity just does not allow trendy hair cuts in Dubai)
Boy racers. Clapped out cars painted with go faster stripes and giant wheels driven by 12 year olds.
Wind and rain. How sore it is!

Sun 30th July - copy cat....

Oh my God, did the woman who wrote to 7 days today read my blog on the 7th July??

Mmmm cheeky!

More photos....

I really like this one of the brown mafia. 

How cute am I?

And I also brought back some pics of me as a wee un.

How cute am I?

See, I was always a beach bum. 

More Photos

Just finished last disposable camera last weekend and got last batch of photos back.

Gawd holiday seems like soooo long ago.

This is one of me and my mammy.

She painted the picture in the back. We are a talented family you know. 

Fri 28th July - Great cook, baaad baker.

Surprise, surprise, hangover not a killer but sod’s law, no sunshine so can’t go to beach.

So I attempted to make Millionaires Shortbread for Yvie’s birthday. Once I had the biscuit mixture in the oven I started to make the caramel filling. It said to boil for 7 mins. Yeah right. As soon as it started bubbling the goo started sticking to the bottom of the pan and next thing the mixture was full of black bits. Fortunately I had enough ingredients to make another batch but decided to have a cup of tea first.

Shit, what is that smell? Within seconds of setting of the fire alarm going off I rescued the biscuit mixture which was now burnt too. 30 minutes my ass, more like 12!

So a kitchen sink full of dishes, no shortbread and not enough ingredients to make more.

Sorry Yvie, guess I will have to buy you a cake.

Had house fever staying in all day with no company. I don’t mind when I am dying with a hangover but hate it when I’m full of beans and no more episodes of 24 to watch. But tried as we might to be good and stay in, by 9pm between SQ, Danny and I we had persuaded each other to go out.

And glad we did too. We had a wicked time. Hey this life time line thing really works! Or maybe it’s the attracting love meditation. Whichever, something was different. I stood in the same place, probably wearing the same clothes, drinking the same drink with the same people, well apart from our boy Josh, it was Don Plenty tonight. Funny how you have an image of someone you hear on the radio and they never look like that do they. Anyway whatever vibes I was giving out worked.

Bitch in heat would have been a good description. Danny left and SQ and I were the centre of attention.

Or maybe its just because I was sober enough to notice this week. Or maybe the boys were just more pissed that usual.

Whatever, the key word was fun. And we had lots of it.

Then the long island iced teas kicked in and it was time to go home. And for once managed to avoid all burger places and the cheesy bread bakery on way home.

Woo hoo. No green tongue and no crap food. Result.

Thurs 27th July - Happy Birthday Yvie!

We started the night at Nikki Tams with Becki, Laura, SQ & Yvie. It was supposed to be a few to get us in the mood.

At 1am we finally got a cab and went to Lotus One. We did attempt to leave mine at 11pm but no cabs and too hot so back to Nikki Tams. It was Yvie’s birthday at midnight so the balloons and candles came out.

That is a candle Yvie is holding, not a spliff.

A few choice remarks were written in my Nikki Tams visitors book. You will have to read it to believe it!

RBs was calling on the way home so as usual ended up there for one on the way home.

Met a few old faces I haven't seen for years so good fun.

Bounced round the dance floor a few times then all home safely.